This past month we were blessed with another sweet boy Logan and as this new chapter begins in our lives I can’t help but to think about when we were blessed with Liam in 2013. This time around we were able have a say in “our” birth story, which is ironic if you think about. Why wouldn’t we have a say? Well, when something shows up on the ultrasound your given at 20 weeks (isn’t mandatory by the way) that is not “normal” the neonatologist begins to treat your sweet little angel as something you don’t want. They begin to give you options, options that should not be options. They make you feel like your crazy for not wanting to invade your little ones privacy and space. It begins to feel as though this is no longer your pregnancy and baby but theirs. Theirs to treat as research and tests and they were more than willing to put OUR precious baby’s life at risk for it. Well let me tell you, my husband and I, we were not!
We grow up thinking that Doctors know all and you do not question them. They know best and you should always listen to them, now I know they know a lot and sometimes their heart is in the right place with their recommendations but not always. Many Doctors mean well and i’m very thankful for the great things they have done in this lifetime. Other Doctors, well, they can be heartless and disconnected from life.
With Logan we chose not to have any interventions what so ever besides our wonderful midwife. We chose to put our full trust in Christ our Lord and have faith that His will is the way! We knew that whatever the outcome He would carry us through. As the Gospel states, Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you– Deuteronomy 31:6. We know Gods plans for us are greater than we could ever imagine. We prayed and prayed about having another child after Liam and God gave us such a peace about it. According to the Genetic’s departments statistics it was not in our best interest to have another child, the risk was just too high. Seriously?! The risk of having another superhero, psh! When we did conceive we surrendered our sweet Logan to The Lord right away as we did with Liam. We knew our children were only on loan to us and we wanted to honor God best we could with them! We went the whole pregnancy with no ultrasounds, and no genetic tests. This built our faith in Christ and our walk with Him grew to another level that we are ever so grateful for.
We planned a home water birth (which was AMAZING) and had the greatest God given peace about it. My heart was only filled with doubt when other people expressed great concern about our decision to give birth at home. I quickly lifted it up to God and he filled my heart with peace again. They expressed their fears, fears of the world. God designed our bodies to give birth but yet in this fallen world we have come to believe it impossible without medical intervention and hospitals. Now don’t get me wrong I know sometimes it is very much needed and welcomed but not always. As long as my pregnancy was normal we would ensue the home birth. We have the Holy Spirit within us to guide us in the direction we shall go.
Having a home birth was so empowering I can not even begin to explain the emotions involved. It was the greatest feeling knowing that we had a say in the labor and birth. I was able to labor in my bed as well as the birthing pool. I was able to listen to my body and do what I needed to. I was in labor for almost 20 hours and yes, I was exhausted. I was so excited for this whole experience I could not rest in early labor so by the time Logan came I was pooped. But yes, my Lord carried me through and the second he was here I had a burst of energy. The way God designed our bodies to labor and birth wows me. I was in the pool ready to push and my husband jumps in with me to catch Logan. With our midwife guiding us, we were in charge! Logan was a surprise gender and when my husband pulled him up to lay on my chest I put my hand under him to hold him and knew it was a boy! The joy we felt in this moment was only a joy that Jesus Christ can give. God saw us through this all to this moment without a hiccup. I wasn’t sure how I would feel sitting in the pool laboring (with stuff from my uterus) but in that moment nothing else mattered! We were able to delay his cord clamping and let all the blood from the cord continue on to Logan. When all was said and done… we were already home! What more could we ask for, it was so relaxing to know we weren’t going to be poked and messed with each hour.
Hospitals have forgotten that we are not robots but human beings with hearts and emotions. When we want a say in our birth story we have to “ask permission” and if it doesn’t work into their schedule, whelp, sorry! When I labored with Liam in the hospital they cut his cord the second he was out, they did not lay him on my chest, they showed me him from a far and starting wiping him clean. When they did give him to me he was all wrapped in a blanket so there was no opportunity for skin to skin. A couple hours later they took him away to the NICU. It’s so hard to bond with your baby when doctors tell you whether you can hold him or not. When your told what time to feed him and how much. When they are constantly poking him and running tests.
Completely different birth stories but one thing they both have in common is the grace of God. He was with us the entire time both times and will continue to guide us through this life time until we are in heaven with Him! God has shown us that regardless of what this world offers, he is never changing. We continue to keep our faith in God and know that His plan for our family will never hurt us. The trials we experience are all for His glory and to build our character up in Him. I’m so grateful for my savior because without Him I would not have these two blessings I like to call my boys! Liam and Logan have changed our lives forever and we continue to pray that God uses them for His glory as well as us! We can only ask that He help us to raise Godly men of Christ!
Thank you as always for reading. I hope to touch hearts and encourage others by sharing Gods grace.
Mama Gillean 💛
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. –Colossians 3:15